Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Advice for Bo, The White House Dog

Dear Bo,

Congratulations on becoming the first dog. Frankly, we have no idea what that must feel like. But we do know a few things about being a rowdy puppy. Forgive our hubris, but we thought we might offer you a little advice.

First, you're going to need to figure out where the humans keep the snacks. Probably, that's going to involve a fair amout of subterfuge on your part, since we suspect there are several layers of paid humans working to keep you separated from the really good stuff. But if Ari can get catfood off of the top shelf of a locked closet, we know you'll be able to figure it out. And when you do, don't forget to gorge. Dainty grazing is totally over-rated.

Secondly, the best way to get attention is by taking things the humans really like or need. In our house, that's usually books or wool socks. In yours, it'll probably be more along the lines of Mideast peace accords. Anything with a national seal on it will probably subsitute in a pinch.

Third. Work on your best winsome stare. You'd be amazed how effective it is--even on steely world leaders. Rubbing your snout with your front paws or flopping onto your back with a sigh works, too. Don't underestimate the importance of learning cute well: once you've mastered #1 and #2, you're going to need this extra skill.

Fourth. Master the art of timing. As any good actor knows, it's positively crucial. Decide you need to pee just after the State dinner has begun. Be sure to yowl during the climax of the important speech. Wait to race around the White House lawn until the military helicopter has landed and your humans have boarded.

Speaking of that White House lawn, don't forget to explore every single inch of it. And remember the most important rule of all: if it smells bad, eat it. If it smells really really bad, roll in it.
Good luck. We think you have the makings of a great caninaturalist.



Dmitri said...

Got Hope. Got Bo. Now the Obamas do know diddley. Welcome to the American canine family, Bo.

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I think Bo was trying to find his inner 'husky' self -

He soooo knows how to pull POTUS!

I'm sure Bo will welkhome your sage words!


jo(e) said...


Pippa said...

Great advice. :)

I would add don't forget to chase all cats.

double secret service with a smile said...

This may be a matter of national security. I think advising a dog to take important documents may border on treason, careful where you step Dr. Jones, er Miles.
I will buy 20 copies of your book if you can get confirmation that this post was read by any member of the immediate Obama family.

The Thundering Herd said...

Did anyone else think of a version of the Banana Song?

Bo, Bo, Bo-bama
Banana-fana, fo-fama

Stella said...

I think Ari should be invited to the White House to go over some of the basics with BoBama. For instance, how to look at people scowly, like on his stair step photo, that would be invaluable to almost any dog. Of course the blue eyes do sooo much but still . . .Start there and then work up to food stealing, then horking up food on the best carpets. Ah Bo would get off to a good start with an excellent but tough instructor like Ari. Let us know if you can work this out.


Lorenza said...

Good advice!
I heard Mr. Obama said everything will go well as long as Bo does not want to go on his bed! Hmmmm.... not fair!
Kisses and hugs

Simba and Jazzi said...

Little Bo is super cute.

Simba and Jazzi xxx

Anonymous said...

I would think that an esteemed, published author would be more careful about copyright infringement (like using someone else's photographs without proper acknowledgements). Yes, big brother is watching.

Me and my puppies said...

Bo is a real cutie pie and I'm thrilled the Obama's now have a dog, but my family and I are very disappointed Obama didn't keep his promise of adopting a shelter puppy. I guess shelter dogs aren't good enough for the White House and the First Family.
What's Ari's feelings on this?

Marigold said...

Having actually seen a Portuguese Water dog, I hope Bo can actually DO these things you suggest. Maybe someone will get him some barrettes. Maybe they should have stuck with the whole goat in the White House idea.

Amber and Nala said...

Great coaching Ari! I hope little Bo listens to your advicer except for the rolling in stinky stuff part....I just never understood that. ;) That last picture is very funny.


Tracey and Huffle said...

Words of wisdom for the new first puppy!

I wonder if we could make his a secret member of HULA.

Huffle Mawson

Kathiesbirds said...

How kind of Ari to pass on her expert advice!

Charity, Gary, Katie and Louie said...

Great advice Ari!

How funny to see the Prez running around like a puppy...cute :-)

The OP Pack said...

Those are some great tips, Ari. We aren't anywhere close to being first pups, but we can put a lot of that advice to good use.

Tail wags, the OP Pack

Steve, Kat, & Wilbur said...

Excellent advice. We can't wait to see if Bo makes it into the Hula hoop.

Steve and Kat

with love, Madison said...

Great post! H-Mom and Madison are hoping that Bo gets to be tall enough to master a serious Ball-Knock (good for dignitaries from places on tenuous terms with good behavior) and a Full-Frontal-Crotch-Snuffle (perfect for formal dress occasions with modern day royalty) ... PS H-Mom got the BOOK. Yes THE BOOK and she is so excited. She is just carrying it around saying "This is my Friend!" What friend? Everyone is shaking their head. Poor H-Mom ... she lives in this imaginary world, huh?